Last night in Chicago, there was this allegedly huge storm barreling down on us with tornado warnings and all sorts of insanity. I was at a theatre for the Just For Laughs comedy festival seeing shows. I was also seeing them all alone. So, I started trying to get optimistic.
Maybe a cute guy and I will get caught in the rain tonight and we’ll share a cab. And then I can pay for the whole thing and go home alone.— Cody Melcher (@EccentricGent) June 12, 2013
Maybe a cute guy will say “Hey, can we share your umbrella?” Then he can take it over to his boyfriend and they can both be dry.— Cody Melcher (@EccentricGent) June 12, 2013
Maybe a cute guy will say, “You look cute when you’re wet,” and then he can push me aside so he can continue complimenting the guy behind me— Cody Melcher (@EccentricGent) June 12, 2013
Maybe a cute guy will slip and fall in a puddle and I can offer to help him up and he’ll reply, “Ew, I don’t touch fat guys.”— Cody Melcher (@EccentricGent) June 12, 2013
Maybe a cute guy will forget his raincoat and I’ll run after him to give it to him and then he’ll run away screaming, “AH! MONSTER!”— Cody Melcher (@EccentricGent) June 12, 2013
Maybe a cute guy and I will get stuck in an alcove and then he’ll look at me and say, “I’ll chance it,” and walk out into the storm.— Cody Melcher (@EccentricGent) June 12, 2013
Maybe a cute guy will be out in the storm and I’ll throw open a door and yell, “Come in here!” And then he’ll throw himself into a tornado.— Cody Melcher (@EccentricGent) June 12, 2013
Seems like every 6 months or so - maybe once a year - there is a debate about rape jokes. Here’s how it goes:
A dude tells jokes about rape or deals with hecklers in way that includes rape. A woman hears these jokes or is the heckler. She publicly states that she is upset or didn’t like the joke or didn’t think it was funny or doesn’t think that particular joke really dealt with the topic seriously. And then the comic somehow takes that feedback & uses it to LOSE HIS MIND.
Other comics get on board & support the comic. For some reason a discussion about censorship breaks out, which really makes no sense since the audience member isn’t really in a position to censor anyone. Dude comics generally support the other dude comic’s right to tell a rape joke, without realizing rights weren’t being questioned, choices were. Chick comics support the dude comic or keep quiet - not wanting to be labeled stupid or bitchy or against their own community. Female audience member is labeled stupid or bitchy & publicly shamed by comics. Everyone moves on.
I personally don’t advocate for any topics being categorically off limits, because OF COURSE I DON’T. I’m a comic. I have talked about rape on stage. I do think, though, that when a comic is in a group of people largely unaffected by a topic, that comic should be able to do some extra work to make their jokes funny, relevant, well thought out. If you are a white comic talking about dealing with racism, or a straight comic talking about being uncomfortable in a gay neighborhood, or a dude talking about rape, you are asking for higher scrutiny.
You also get a greater reward - you get the built in laughs that come with chatting on a taboo topic. And there are plenty of angles on rape that affect dudes more - no one has ever thought I could possibly BE a rapist for instance, which is an angle I have heard dude comics use for huge laughs & it totally worked. There are always new jokes to tell on a topic or new angles to take.
I agree 100%, and if I may be so bold, I’d like to tack on some of the ridiculously unnecessary gay jokes that are still pretty prevalent.
I saw “Arias Convicted 1st Degree Murder” and was confused. I mean, I prefer orchestral accompaniment, myself, but murder is going a bit far.
100 Proof Comedy Presents a killer night of laughs
Starring Drew Michael
Drew Michael is a Chicago comedian who focuses on life from a dark, cerebral point of view. His rumination on God, religion, Hitler, government, relationships, ex girlfriends, bestiality, pedophilia, life and death has - in addition to making people violently angry - prompted TimeOut Chicago to call him, ”Smart, funny and unabashedly crass.”
Drew is a founding member of the comedy collective, Comedians You Should Know, whose weekly showcase is the best independent stand-up show in the city. The Onion AV Club echoed that sentiment: ”The genuine quality of talent on display is unrivaled in Chicago.” The group also released a self-titled album last year that debuted at #1 on the iTunes comedy charts. This year, Drew had the privilege of performing in the Bridgetown Comedy Festival.
Already a staple on the Chicago scene, Drew is one of the hardest working, most unapologetically convicted comedians in the country. See him now, while you still can, before he is viciously murdered by an ex-girlfriend, an unruly audience member, or himself.
Featuring Nate Simmons
Hosted by Kristin Clifford
Like the majority of upstanding, strong-willed, anti-Communist Americans, I oppose the idea of handing over rights to sexual deviants like homosexuals. America was founded as a shining city upon a hill for the splendor of God and for good, American values. Not for the purposes of legalizing–or even supporting–grown men luring our children into hedonistic foreplay. If we allow the homosexual access to our children and our society, then we will have nothing left. Our morals will dissolve. Even further, if we allow them the grace of marriage, they will steal our children in the night and, like Mowgli, raise them among the infernal wolves. If we allow the homosexual these God-given rights, we might as well allow men to enter into matrimony with badgers. Can you imagine it? A man. A grown man. Slipping into the allure of the dark eyes of a Melinae? Its tiny claws molesting his quivering body. Its teeth nipping at his stubble? Can you imagine? Just imagine. Imagine it. A grown, upstanding, American man basking in the post-coital glow of badger love-making. Is that what you want? Men. American men. Fondling the privates of a badger? Licking their striped faces with his upright, principled tongue? Think of it! No wife to tell him where to go, what he needs to be doing, how to love her. Just nonstop, sweaty, decadent American-on-badger love-making. What a world that would be.
If you were watching the news on Friday night (or not, maybe you have a life) while Djohar Tsarnaev was being captured instead of reading some really great things that some really funny people came up with on twitter, here’s a gem you missed from Dan Telfer.
Someone was kind enough to screenshot their favorite tweets in this series, but left the dramatic conclusion out. You can read my entire alternate-universe chronicle of how the boat confrontation went down here.
Pure brilliance. And, yeah, you really need to go see the conclusion.